


Baines Meets Friendly Black Kid

by li0nrunner



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: M/M, fbk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-01
Updated: 2013-01-01
Packaged: 2017-11-28 23:35:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/680151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/li0nrunner/pseuds/li0nrunner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is for my twitter friends, so you probably don't understand the references made unless you're part of the #applecult. Maybe you'll enjoy it anyway. If you do, I'm scared.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Baines Meets Friendly Black Kid

**Author's Note:**

  * For [the applecult](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=the+applecult).



> [](http://s427.beta.photobucket.com/user/katewasherex/media/ScreenShot2013-02-11at83208PM_zpsd661aa3d.png.html)  
>   
> by Savannah

Once upon a time, Jeremy Baines was walking around his school, totally possessed by a freaky alien. He scolded all the little twits beneath him and made fun of the black maid aka Martha Jones because their kind was looked down upon at that time in history. Baines kept sniffing, and everyone thought Badass Baines had a cold, but in reality, he was trying to sniff out some butt sex.  
The homo scent was incredibly strong around all his douche bag friends, but he knew they would not satisfy him. As Baines was telling Martha Jones to crawl back into the hole that she came from, he began to think about holes, and thought he might like to shove his alien-possessed dick into her chocolate anus. But then Baines thought that that would be wrong because she was black and not to mention a woman who probably wouldn't appreciate his longing for butt fucking.  
So he left her there cleaning the floors, and he went walking around the school, sniffing for homos. He was just wandering the hallway that lead to his dorm room when he spotted a dark figure. It was a boy, sitting on a bench at the end of the hall. The boy turned and Baines realised that the boy was also the colour of milk chocolate. the boy was widely grinning at Baines.  
"Who are you?" Baines asked.  
"Hi, friend! I'm Friendly Black Kid!" said the boy brightly.  
"Your name is...Friendly Black Kid?" said Baines skeptically.  
"Yes!" the boy said, still smiling. "But you can call me Sarah for short."  
Baines tilted his head in confusion. Suddenly, a strong breeze came through the window, pushing Friendly Black Kid's scent towards Baines. Baines sniffed, and he was hit by an overwhelming scent of ass-loving homo.  
Baines walked up to Friendly Black Kid and pressed his body against him. "This is so wrong," he gasped.  
Friendly Black Kid continued to smile.  
"But you're so...friendly," Baines said, staring into Friendly Black Kid's sparkling eyes.  
"Whatever makes you happy, friend!" said Friendly Black Kid.  
"Sarah, my sweet chocolate milkshake," Baines said, feeling his erection growing against Friendly Black Kid's thigh. "Will you let me empty my marshmallow into your caramel asshole?"  
"Anything for you, friend!" Friendly Black Kid said happily.  
He grabbed Friendly Black Kid's arm and dragged him into the nearest room. Timothy Latimer was sitting on the bed, doing homework probably.  
"Latimer, get the fuck out of here you basic twerp," Baines growled.  
Latimer ran for the door, and as he left, Friendly Black Kid smiled at him and said, "Bye, friend!"  
Baines swiftly closed the door, and then he ran back to Friendly Black Kid. He threw his new lover on the bed. "Turn over," he snarled.  
"Sure thing, friend!"said Friendly Black Kid as he flipped himself onto his stomach, still with that ridiculous smile on his face.  
Baines pulled down Friendly Black Kid's jeans to reveal a plump brown booty.  
"Sarah," began Baines, "I must warn you, this is going to be the best moment of your life."  
Just then, Friendly Black Kid's head did a complete 180, and he gave Baines his creepiest smile. Baines felt his peen tingle, and Friendly Black Kid swung his head back into place.  
"Alright,  _friend_ ," said Baines in barely a whisper. "I'm going in... _dry_."


End file.
